Sep 23 – Oct 23
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the fairest of them all?
From the book “Astrology for Lovers” written by Liz Green.
One of the most notorious Librans of recent fame is Brigitte Bardot. She serves as a reminder that the ruling planet of Libra is Venus, goddess of love and beauty in ancient mythology. You’d think Libra would be the most obvious, easiest sign to understand. All they need is love, right? Wrong.
Remember that Libra is an airy sign. And air is concerned with ideas and principles above all else. Love, yes, of course. Every Libra thinks a lot about love, just as he thinks a lot about anything that pertains to relationship. But the operative word here is think. Libra’s idea of love isn’t necessarily your idea of a warm, cozy, delightful tête-à-tête. More likely, it’ll be one of his many theories on the nature of love and marriage, his ideals of the perfect relationship, his concepts about how people ought to behave toward each other, his urgent vision of a world where everything is absolutely balanced, polished, perfect, symmetrical, harmonious. It can drive you mad. This sign, whose symbol is the scales of balance, has less to do with ordinary sweaty human coupling than any other. What? Libra soil his hands? Never. Love, for Libra, must always be in the appropriate style: a ritual of courtly love, complete with the right gestures, the right words, the right perfume, the right satin sheets, the right scented candles, the right flowers. Be careful. Libra is the great perfectionist of the zodiac. Not Virgo, as you may have heard. Love, ah yes. Love, for Libra, makes the world go round. But his love is a theoretical one. He knows less about love than any other sign, although he thinks about it more. That’s why he’s always searching for it in the most idealized possible forms. Like Aquarius and Gemini, Libra’s emotional nature is often childlike and naïve.
The planet Venus symbolizes, in astrology, the urge for relationship. Let’s look closely at that word. Relating one thing to another doesn’t necessarily involve emotion. It’s the art of comparison, differentiation, of making balanced and symmetrical patterns. Relationship is an integral part of dance, of geometry, of mathematics, or warfare. Relationship can mean a delicate and masterly sense of which colour blends with which. Or whether the lines of a Porsche 928 are superior in style to those of a Ferrari. This is really what Libra is concerned with. Marriage, yes. Most Librans think a lot about marriage, too. It’s rare to find a Libra who remains unmarried for long. There’s something about the ritual, the ceremony, the sense of togetherness, the rings, that appeal to the delicate quality of stylization in Libra’s nature. It’s the marriage of opposites, the balancing of things which are incompatible and mutually exclusive, the cleaning up of rough edges, the ordering of the pattern. Marriage to Libra is like a sixteenth-century dance. Every step, every gesture, has a ritualized meaning. Libra is the great sign of ritual. And remember that Libra’s symbol, the balance, is an inanimate object. Libra tries to lift ordinary human living onto the level of Platonic ideals. Not that he’s incapable of being erotic or deeply sensual. But often sex itself must be ritualized, otherwise it turns him off.
You’ll hear the words ‘fair’ and ‘equal’ mentioned a lot in conversations with Libra. The Libran’s sense of what is fair is so acute that he can spot an imbalance miles away. He believes passionately in fairness, and this often causes him a great deal of unhappiness, because life and people aren’t always fair. Again and again his idealism collides with an imbalanced world full of imperfections and rough edges. Libra believes passionately in equality, too, particularly in relationships. If you do him a favour, he does you a favour. If you pay for dinner, he’ll pay for the theatre tickets. In many ways he’s truly an enlightened soul when it comes to male-female relationships, for he understands in a very real way what equality and fair play mean, and he won’t use sex to tip the balance. Here, too, he often meets with sad disillusionment, because finding a relationship where each partner gives exactly the same amount and takes exactly the same amount, where there isn’t one slightly stronger or one who loves slightly more, is like finding a unicorn. But Libra believes in unicorns too, and may often be seen moving from one relationship to another, one job to another, one country to another, believing and believing and believing that one day, some day, he’ll find that perfect companion, that perfect career, that perfect environment where no ugliness or coarseness or human tragedy intrudes.
Like Socrates, Libra seeks the Good, the True and the Beautiful. Even the Libra who’s learned to use his notorious charm to manipulate people and situations still seeks these things. He seeks them in whatever field of life you find him, in whatever relationship he enters. He usually knows by the time he reaches his mid-thirties that the Good, the True and the Beautiful are concepts and symbols rather than facts which he’s likely to meet on the street. But he’ll go on trying. And one of the nicest qualities about this curious sign is that in his eternal efforts to change the world and make it a place where the Good, the True and the Beautiful can make their abode, he often succeeds in making life just a little better, a little more beautiful, a little more harmonious than it might otherwise have been. Like his planetary ruler Venus, he has the gift of creating style and grace and harmony wherever he goes. More earthy souls often don’t appreciate Libra’s special gift. But those who know that hyacinths for the soul are as necessary as that extra five pounds a week on the salary cheque appreciate Libra.
Libra has a quality of initiation, a need to have goals, which the sign shares in common with Aries, Cancer and Capricorn. All these signs have as a basic characteristic the need to be working toward something. Libra is usually looking for order, for perfection, for an ideal of relationship. Because he’s always aware of other people’s viewpoints, he won’t often show aggressiveness or pushiness in his encounters with others. But don’t forget that he possesses just as much initiative as his more overt cousins born under Aries and Capricorn. He’s always after something. The difference is that, in order to really feel confident about achieving it, Libra needs a partner. If you spend some time with a Libran, you’ll learn to recognize the royal Libran ‘we’. Aries simply says, ‘I want that. Do it.’ Libra is far more diplomatic, far cagier. He’s born with a downright frightening awareness that the world is full of people who have opinions which differ from his. He’ll always listen to other opinions, frequently agreeing with them in order to encourage his partner or opponent to talk more. In the end, he does exactly as he pleases. But somehow he always succeeds in giving the impression that he’s done it because of your cooperation. In fact, you might even walk away thinking it was really your idea, and that you pushed him. Instead of ‘Do it.’ Libra would much rather approach gently, with the famous charming smile, and say, ‘You know, I was thinking that it would be really nice for everyone here if we….’ And you’re hooked. How thoughtful he is. How genuinely concerned with others’ needs and ideas.
How unassertive. How diffident. Why, you’d be glad to do it. In fact, you’d even thought of it yourself. You’re so glad to have his support…
It’s no wonder Libra has a reputation for being a skilled diplomat and a masterful statesman. He has a rare gift of being able to achieve what he wants with the minimum offence. How can you be offended by somebody who’s always consulting you about your opinions? Here’s the art of Venusian relationships at its most fluent.
The problem with this, of course, is that more direct souls don’t believe a word of it. They see Libra as a chronic hypocrite and flatterer. From one point of view, it’s sometimes true; Librans have been known to smile sweetly and pay you an endearing compliment when they actually hate the ground you walk on. They’re also prone to agreeing with your side of the argument when they take their place as mediators – ‘Yes, I agree with you completely, he’s perfectly dreadful’ – and then turning around and doing the same thing to your opponent – ‘Yes, I agree with you, she’s behaving horridly.’ It’s hard if you’re the sort of person who likes friends who’ll bleed and die for you rather than show the faintest sign of disloyalty, to learn to trust Libra, who’d rather be friends with everybody than bleed and die for anything. And more suspicious types like Scorpio and Capricorn don’t appreciate Libra’s gift for flattery either. They don’t trust compliments in general, these signs, and they certainly don’t trust somebody who always approaches with a ‘You’re looking marvelous today’ when you know you look terrible. Viewed from the other side of the fence, Libra doesn’t come across as particularly trustworthy. Diplomats never do.
But on the other hand (an expression you’ll hear frequently on the lips of Librans) this isn’t hypocrisy, nor is it dishonesty. From Libra’s point of view it’s all true. He’d much rather compliment you than insult you, not just because he likes to be liked, but because he tends to look for the beautiful and the positive in people and in life. Yes, the diplomat is at work. But sometimes it’s nicer to be courted by a diplomat than bludgeoned by one of those types whose excessive love of ‘truth’ causes him to destroy brutally your most delicate dreams and needs. The Libran photographer, for example, will usually use a soft-focus lens and flattering lighting to enhance a woman’s appearance, because he knows that most women like to appear beautiful; you’ll rarely find him in the harsh realist school which insists on portraying every last spot, wrinkle, and superfluous hair because it’s true to life. True life to Libra is tinted with his visions of the beauty it might contain. Even if he lives in a dark, dreary one-room basement flat, he’ll do his best to disguise its limitations with a few flowers, some bright colours, some clever use of design. And when you’re there, you have the illusion that it’s bigger, brighter, more luxurious than the physically big, bright, luxurious homes of less tasteful people. Which is the reality?
Libra’s royal ‘we’ isn’t sheer hypocrisy either. Of course the diplomat is at work here too, because Libra is smart enough to know that you can get a lot more done when people are on your side than when they’re fighting you. And he also has a positive hatred of quarrels and emotional storms, and a real terror of being disliked. It shatters him to know someone despises him. He’ll often do everything in his power – which is considerable – to win the opponent over. But apart from the diplomat, Libra also has a genuine interest in other people’s ideas and feelings. He really does care, although the degree of it varies with the individual Libran. The interested listener isn’t just listening because he knows it makes you like him better. He’s also truly interested. And if he doesn’t show his disagreement, well, that’s not wholly hypocrisy either; he’s also smart enough to know that even if he disagreed, it wouldn’t change your mind anyway, so why bother? Much more pleasant to have pleasantness.
An interesting case in point is Alexander the Great, one of the more influential Librans in history. He’s generally known for conquering most of the known world. But Alexander wasn’t your usual run-of-the-mill dictator carving territory out for himself for love of power. He was a Libran, after all. He was an intense idealist, and held a belief for the whole of his life that the disparate peoples of the ancient world – Greek, Persian, Indian – could mix and intermarry and create a united world under one king, with different customs and religions co-existing happily side by side. He himself married the defeated King of Persia’s daughter to set an example, and arranged marriages between his Macedonian troops and Persian women. A true Libran dream, this one. Alexander’s tragedy, like that of any other idealist, was that after all his painstaking work Greeks still hated Persians and Persians still hated Indians and fire-worshippers hated earth-worshippers and people still wanted to rape, loot and pillage.
Alexander’s military tactics are also pure Libra. He never just blundered into battle, attempting to win by brute force. His genius was his strategy. Time after time he worked out what his enemy was going to do by psychologizing him, and then playing with his knowledge. He also led his men with true Libran finesse; he ate with them, drank with them, starved with them, knew all their names, never set himself above them. No ordinary conqueror, this one, but a wonderful example of many Libran qualities at work.
Frequently, with all these gifts, the one to suffer is the Libran himself. This is because, if you’re going to spend your life with the kind of acute awareness of everybody else that Libra’s got, you don’t have a chance very often to express your own emotions honestly. And this is Libra’s biggest problem. He often finds his own emotions very painful to deal with, because they so frequently contradict the ideal of the Good, the True and the Beautiful. Libra likes to think that emotion should always be pleasant, agreeable, loving, harmonious. When he feels things like anger, hatred, jealousy, intense desire, it frightens him. One shouldn’t feel such things. He often carries a pretty sizeable guilt complex around him, over all those nasty things that churn around in the secret soul. Like the fact that he doesn’t really like everybody after all. In a nutshell, Libra often represses his own emotions mercilessly, both because they conflict with his image of how people should be, and because they get him into trouble (meaning that sometimes other people get angry at him) when he shows his real feelings. His unreal world of perfect harmony and companionship often becomes so unreal that it’s impossible for him to deal with ordinary human conflict. And repressed emotion like that, sooner or later, surfaces in a variety of unpleasant and indirect ways – like depression and physical illness. Or like secret and unintentional snipes at the people he’s trying hardest to be pleasant to. Then he says the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment, and doesn’t even realize what he’s done. His pent-up anger and hostility have come out in an indirect way, and he’s usually the last one to know he’s doing it, until he’s lost all his friends in the process.
Libra, the great lover of Truth, is often emotionally dishonest, both with himself and with others. It isn’t intentional. It’s just that this sensitive idealist, with the perfect image of the world rattling around his very capable brain, takes a long time adjusting to the rougher currents in the sea of life. And all too often he’ll just avoid the challenge of adjusting his idealistic nature with a bumpier world by trying to hide behind a relationship which can protect him and offer a warm, secure cocoon so that he doesn’t have to deal with such difficult issues. Put briefly, Libra is often terribly dependent on his friends and loved ones, because he wants protection from life. The thing is, he has so much charm that you can’t resist protecting him, and perpetuating the vicious cycle.
Libra also often has a great problem with what he calls his selfishness. It’s hard for him to assert his own wishes without consulting everybody first. Now, Libra is pretty notorious for the famous indecisiveness he’s said to possess. But isn’t real indecision – it isn’t as though he had no ideas about his own whishes or his own tastes. Left alone, Libra can be pretty quick to make choices. It’s just that when he gets around somebody else, he keeps trying to adjust his choice to get the maximum cooperation. In part, it’s because often he doesn’t really care that passionately about having what he wants, it’s more important to him to have company. He’s made his choice, and it’s to choose harmony. In part, he often feels vaguely guilty for wanting something, because it might be selfish. So he makes an effort to consider the other persons, and he winds up caught in between. And in part he thinks aloud. Librans often work out their thoughts by talking to others; in the end, they make their own decisions, but their thinking processes often crystallize in conversation. It’s a good idea not to take a Libran’s statements too literally when you’re in min-discussion. He’s usually trying things on. Later, when he’s alone, he’ll work out what he really thinks.
But when you’re subjected to the classic Libran routine of “what would you like to do tonight, dear?” answered by, “ I don’t mind whatever you want”, don’t fall into the trap of trying to force him to give you a definitive answer. His definitive answer is that he’s rather you decided – not because he’s incapable of it, but because he’ll have a much more pleasant evening with you if he knows you’re happy than if he imposes his own wishes on you. If you’re the sort who likes to have your decisions made for you, try an Aries or Leo. It’s just not fair to poor Libra to expect him to play that role, when his real gift is in finding a happy medium.
Sometimes you’ll see Libra getting argumentative. He often shows this side to his nature in discussions. You take on point of view, he’ll take the opposite. But watch careful If you shift around and begin agreeing with him, he’ll slide over and take the point of view you started with. And you discover that he’s not really arguing; he’s trying to find the mid-point between both of you. Some Librans show their need for balance by disagreeing with everything yo say. It’s thir wayof both working out what you think, and of trying to cope with their innate tendency to always agree. Sometimes they over-compensate, like everybydy else. But the real Libran nature isn’t argumentative. Nor is it passive and compliant. It’s just that Libra doesn’t like extremes. And cooperation is a real god to him.
It’s a funny thing about Librans, with all this polarizing going on inside them; people either really love them, or really dislike them. It’s rarely anything in the middle. Either their charm wins you over, or you’re sure Libra is playing a deceptive, hypocritical game. And this pattern fits Libra too, because everything for him always comes in twos. He’s always caught in the middle between extremes, trying first one side and then the other, always searching for the perfect balance. Maybe he recognizes some secret in life that others don’t see: that it’s possible to be more than we are, better, more Good, more True, more Beautiful.
The Libra Lover
Most of what we’ve been saying applies to the Libran lover, because Libra is always in some sense a lover – even if it’s a country, he’s wooing. But a few further remarks might be in order. One important thing to mention is that Libra – man or woman – shows his best qualities in a relationship which contains plenty of harmony and communication. Because his needs and his gifts all lie in the realm of peace and harmony and interchange, you’re barking in the wrong kennel if you’re one of those people who like tempestuous, violent scenes with slamming doors and smashed crockery and lots of tears and torn clothes. Although it’s certainly possible to drive a Libran to this point, it takes a lot of work, and having accoplished it, you usually find that the Libran, far from enjoying it, loathes every minute of it, loathes himself for reaching that disgracefully bestial level of behaviour, and never forgets it. And the next time he’s even more diplomatic, and more evasive, and less truthful than before.
If you want to discuss love problems with Libra, you must discuss them. You can’t emote them. And make sure you puncture your virulent accusations with a good helping of ‘Yes, I know that part is my fault’, because otherwise his sense of fairness will insist that he doesn’t deserve all the blame. He’ll gladly take fifty per cent, but don’t try to heap it all on him, or he’ll take the opposite stance and say it’s all your fault. Fair is fair, and Libra believes in equal-sized helpings.
It can all get too intellectual for some. Libra is capable of spending hours discussing a relationship – what’s wrong with it, what’s right with it, how it can be adjusted, how ‘we’ can make it better. In the end he shows a surprisingly small capacity to actually act on these realizations: he may know them and understand them, but it’s hard for him to show them emotionally. Remember that Libra’s feeling nature is quite childlike, often very powerful, and usually repressed. And when he’s being horribly reasonable and discussing it like a political debate with pros and cons and suggestions for bills and amendments, you feel like doing something simple and basic, like clubbing him, or tearing his clothes off. This sort of behaviour usually has the effect of producing a bland, tolerant look and statement like, ‘When you’re feeling more reasonable, we’ll discuss it, dear.’
Having a reasonable lover can be a great boon. It means you can reason with him or her. On the other hand, there are times when reason has no place in love, and this is often Libra’s most difficult and painful lesson in the realm of human relationships. One can sometimes wait a long time for Libra to offer a genuine and spontaneous emotional response which hasn’t been reflected over, pro and con, for hours preceding it. But a little understanding for Libra’s need for harmony and peace and a place where things can be happy and romantic and free of rejection and darkness, often makes a lot of difference. Sometimes Libra can be coaxed gently into trusting his own emotions in an atmosphere of trust. What he can’t do is become somebody else, which means that if you can’t accept his innately agreeable and harmony-loving nature, you should try something a little more explosive like an Aries or a Scorpio. Libra is capable of putting an enormous amount of time and energy into relationships, which is a rare thing to find; and he or she is usually willing to try adjustment and compromise because it’s innate in Libra’s nature to see the need for adjustment. The need for companionship also makes Libra terribly companionable, and if you’re the violently independent type who likes to do everything alone, you’re liable to have a difficult time with Libra, who likes to do everything together. Some Librans take this togetherness to such extremes that you begin to wonder if they’ll fall apart if expected to eat and sleep alone occasionally. Some Librans in fact fall apart that way. But in general, it’s a mistake to think this is a weak sign; it’s a people-loving sign, and even the quieter, more introverted Libran needs a mate and companion to share his dreams and ideals with.
Librans know a lot about relationships, and the partner is the beneficiary of all of it. It’s quite a big bonus, especially if you’ve had experiences of the opposite kind. But at the beginning and in the end, Libra is an airy sign, not a watery one; and you may have to teach your Libran partner that discussing love is not the same thing as showing it, or feeling it. Never mind. For the romantics of the world, that’s a pleasure too.
The Libra Man
One of the most noticeable things about the Libran man is that he possesses a good deal of taste and also a good deal of vanity. He typical Libran isn’t one of your rough-and-ready macho types who changes his shirt every three weeks and occasionally checks the mirror to see if he’s cut himself shaving. Libran men are usually concerned about how they look, which can produce either a really well-dressed and attractive man who looks and smells good and likes quality and luxury in everything, or a preening peacock. Probably you’ll see shades of both. But it’s understandable, since beauty is always important to Libra – beauty of ideas if not beauty in form.
He’s also terribly responsive to beauty around him, and as with everything else this carries a plus and a minus. The place he lives in will generally be tasteful and pleasant and often luxurious; and this isn’t the man who lives in a pig’s heap and then expects you to clean it when you arrive. If you live with a Libran, he’ll often wish to be involved in decorating a flat or house: if you don’t, he won’t usually abide in traditional bachelor digs, but will often have a downright imposing array of comforts around him. He’s also someone who appreciates other people’s care over their appearance; and Libran men aren’t embarrassed or stiff about offering compliments. The nicest side of all this is that you can feel really appreciated, and not just in the first two weeks of the relationship.
The darker side of all this love of beauty is that the Libra man is often incapable of getting past his hangup about physical perfection. He’s often the ‘sucker for the pretty face’ who can only court beautiful women, and who is frequently fooled and badly hurt because he thought that what looked Good, True and Beautiful actually was. It takes a long time, sometimes a lifetime, for Libra to recognize that the surface is not necessarily a good index of character. Also, his ideas of beauty are frequently called from popular collective attitudes, since he pays a good deal of attention to other people’s opinions. If all the guys at the office think she’s beautiful, so will he. He frequently suffers a lot from having to define his own individual taste.
This problem of loving beauty and being unable to recognize it in other than collective and conventional forms sometimes shows in odd ways. Like a great difficulty in accepting, or finding attractive, the ordinary manifestations of the human body – lumps and bumps and moles and hair and body smells and period pains and other things that make us human and humanly lovable. The Libran man’s image of women is often something that stepped straight out of the pages of Vogue magazine, polished, plucked, and perfect. Nobody, of course, looks like that except in photographs. The most beautiful women in the world still perspire and get dark circles under their eyes. The Libran man loves women who take pride in their femininity and do everything they can to enhance it. He doesn’t usually appreciate the ‘natural’ look. As a cynic once said of nudist camps, ‘People actually look better with their clothes on’. This is often the Libran man’s viewpoint. If you’re the kind of woman who enjoys clothes and cosmetics, this man won’t laugh at them, or demand that you look like a fresh-scrubbed and wholesome country milkmaid. He likes style.
Ah, yes the famous extravagance. He likes style so much that he’s sometimes prepared to bankrupt himself for it. Libra has a reputation for extravagance, and he earns it. It’s not for the same motives as Leo, the other big spender of the zodiac, or as Sagittarius. Leo likes to impress; his idea is to have the most different, the most unique, the most impressive thing. Sagittarius just enjoys spending, because he can’t be bothered with ordinary mundane things like budgeting. Libra spends for beauty. He’ll spend money on beauty faster than he will on necessities; it isn’t uncommon to find the Libra man who’s blown the entire savings on a beautiful car and can’t afford meals for the rest of the week. On the other hand, he’ll spend on his friends too, and on his lovers. And Libra is usually generous. A sucker he’s not; but if you take advantage of him (remember, fair is fair) he’s usually open-handed with money, and never begrudges money spent on pleasure or luxury or beauty or entertainment.
You might find one of those Libra men where the shadow has taken over. They’re a disaster for anyone, because the constant playing hard to get can corrode even the most confident woman. This kind of Libran is an incurable Don Juan, so if it’s fidelity you’re looking for, forget it. You’re more likely to be regaled with stories of how many women pursued him that afternoon, than you are of how desirable you are to him. But the more balanced Libran is usually quite prepared to have a relationship, as opposed to a fling, because he likes companionship and wants more than a good roll in the hay. He has a mind, after all, and often a brilliant one, and he needs friendship and intellectual companionship too. Librans are often marriage-minded, and many Libran men marry very young. They also frequently marry more than once, since the first one isn’t perfect. And if your life path is about learning to relate, then often more than one relationship is needed to learn. The frequency of broken marriages among Librans shouldn’t be looked upon as failure. If you’re seeking the depths of a particular experience in life, you need to try a lot of things to find out about it.
The Libran man is also a real romantic. He understands things like flowers, soft music, quieter evenings in intimate restaurants, elegant parties. He needs them too much himself not to recognize a woman’s needs for them as well. And what he can’t bear is an unromantic partner, a partner who has no time for his longings for the fantasy life. However long you’re with a Libran, he still adheres to the tenets of courtly love. Never take him for granted. He usually won’t take you for granted either, unless you’ve crushed his love for romance by being too flat-footed and prosaic and trampling on his dreams. Then he’ll seek his romance elsewhere, and show the chillier side of him, the one that keeps the marriage together because it’s convenient.
Definitely not an easy man to get along with if you’re very basic by nature. And he has a tendency, too, to retreat into his head to such a degree that you don’t know what he’s talking about. He can get pretty abstract, or just wander off into some inner theoretical landscape that leaves you feeling very cut off and alone. But all the airy signs do this, and they do it in excess when they’ve been threatened emotionally. It’s hard for them to remain in the world in the midst of other people’s physical and emotional problems and desires for very long. Libra needs to escape sometimes to his ivory tower, in whatever form it takes. And anyone involved with a Libra must allow it, because it’s part of his nature. Provided, of course, that it’s in balance. And if it isn’t you can’t drag him down from it. You can only coax him, be reasonable, and trust that eventually his need of relationship will always bring him from whatever airy heights he’s climbed back into the world of human interchange.
The Libra Woman
With the curious magic of polarities that occurs in this sign, the Libra woman, although she shares in common with the Libran man the love of beauty and style and elegance, often has a mind like a steel trap. This lady is not the vague, fluffy bundle of fur and giggles that will stare open-mouthed at your mental acrobatics. She’s probably either got a string of academic degrees or might as well have, and has worked through whatever it is you’ve taken two hours at in about ten minutes.
Libran women can be quite unnerving. They often show the enormous paradox of the sign in the contradiction between their appearance and their real nature. Sometimes you meet a Libra woman who has gone off to the opposite pole, and is the opposite of physically attentive; these are often the women you meet in the masculine (so-called) professions who prefer to find their beauty and elegance in the world of ideas. But even here you can see the style and the diplomacy at work. And the Libra woman is usually very aware of her appearance. But her appearance often belies the capacities and capabilities of her intellect. She is, however, generally too tactful and diplomatic to allow this to be immediately known. In fact you may not find it out for years.
There’s often a strong intellectual drive in the Libran woman, whether this shows itself as love of knowledge in a theoretical way or as love of organizing. Libran women need strong careers to allow them expression of their gifts. And there is often a real ability to work with groups, to get people together in cooperative action. Sometimes there is real political ability, and a concern for human welfare. The masculine pole of life expresses itself through the Libran woman as an ability to work with structures, forms, organizations, concepts. It can be very disconcerting to many men, since this is usually the woman who will happily spend the day being pampered at the beauty salon, and will very agreeably spend a fortune on clothes. But no Libran male or female, is simple.
The tendency to repress emotion exists in the Libran woman as well as in the Libran man. It’s more difficult, in many ways, since society expects women to be emotional. The detached and often intellectual approach which many Libran women show toward others is acceptable when evidenced by their masculine counterparts, yet often reproached in the Libran woman. The true Libran is not a creature of feeling; and whatever the biological or sociological differences between the sexes, it’s generally easier for the Libran woman to reason things out than to react out of instinct. This is both a great boon and a great problem. A boon in the sense of potential for achievement; a problem because the domestic sphere, dealing with children and dealing with relationships, the Libran woman may be uncomfortable and find it difficult either to spontaneously show emotion or to respond to emotional outbursts or demonstrations of need from others.
The key here, once again, is romance. Libra’s tightly corseted emotions can usually be reached through the ritual courtship of romance; if feeling is passed through this tinted lens which raises it up onto a different level, then Libra feels safe and can allow some feeling to be expressed. And the Libran woman is definitely a romantic, even if you find her displaying those frighteningly rational tendencies and claiming to be a logical, reasonable person. One rose goes a long way, one compliment goes an even longer way.
There seem to be two kinds of Libran women, in fact: those who are unashamedly the bundle of contradictions that the sign contains, and those who overcompensate for the intense need for relationship by retreating into the intellect. The latter is usually a frightened Libran who finds too painful to deal with her emotional needs. Love and acceptance do wonders for Libra, and even the painfully tight Libran with emotions tucked firmly away in a safety-deposit box will eventually display the gentle and affectionate side of the Libran nature. The trouble is that a good intellect, which is common with Libran men and women both, can be frightening when it appears in someone who looks as though she should be swathed in furs over scented candlelight; and it seems that if you want to relate to a Libran woman, you’ve got to accept both the man and woman in her. For she possesses both, and the Libran woman who’s found her own balance is comfortable in both worlds – that of the mind, and that of her own femininity.