Fate In Love And/Or Fate In Marriage


Today, I will share with all of you another story that I wrote during my final year at uni. Still need to be edited a bit though 🙂


Your happiness & fulfillment as well as satisfaction that unconditional love brings back to you will be measured from your nadir or the lowest point in you heart to the zenith of the wide blue sky. ~ Do Thi Tu Anh

Once  upon a time, there lived a princess & a prince in a faraway peaceful village. One day, the cupid left THE HEAVEN and decided to tour around the world. Guess what, the love angel determined to shoot his cupid arrow toward the princess & the prince. And everyone should know what happens next without me telling the end. The princess met the prince, they felt madly in love with each other and A HAPPY ENDING STORY was created. Basically, that’s how my childhood was built up. It’s full of happy mythologies and dreamy antique vestiges. I was growing up with that misperception and taking it for granted without any curiosity. As such, I used to think that if we met our special one, felt in love with them, our loved one & we should have an ever happy ending. Far from it, I assure you. Now, I realized that whom we love is extremely different from who loves us. Similarly, with whom we wish to marry and who wishes to marry us are totally different stories. These realizations enable me to understand more clearly about the concept of fate with its different facets. Of course, there are still many facets of fate in the continuum but the following 3 categories are the most obvious to catch and easiest to recognize in this world wide.

  1. The first story of fate – fate in love – 2 strangers meet each other, know about each other and fall in love with each other but they might not necessarily end up in marriage. So if anyone ever falls in love with anyone, you two definitely are fating in love.
  2. The second story of fate – fate in marriage – 2 strangers meet each other, know about each other and marry each other without loving each other before their marriage. They marry each other for the sake of their marriage. This is more popular in Asian and Far East regions. They might not necessarily end up in miserable marriage as love could be born out during marriage and a lot couples have an happy ending though as far as I know.
  3. The last but not least story of fate – fate in both love and marriage – again 2 strangers meet each other, know about each other and fall in love with each other and their love story ends up in marriage. They might not live together for the rest of their lives. But this is how I categorise their relationship. Personally, I think these are the most lucky and blessed couples on earth.

Oh, by the way,  I remember that the elderly in my country always teaches their kids that (still unsure about the translation, so apologise for any mistaken understanding):

While 100 years worth of good deeds could reward you a good friend in life, it may take ten times as long to meet a good partner in marriage. (translated by Vu)

Essentially, what the old in my country wants to convey is to be husband and wife in this earthy world, 2 strangers must mutually owe big debts of love toward each other and they must marry each other to reciprocally repay their love debts. As such, if you want to get marry with the one you love, please try to pray that you wish to owe your loved one a big love debt. My friend did try but it does not work, trust me. BUT IF YOU TRY, AT LEAST YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY TRIED AND YOU NEED NOT REGRET LATER ON THAT YOUR DREAM WOULD HAVE COME TRUE IF YOU HAD TRIED. It does not work for him, but who never knows, it may work well for you, I hope 🙂

Indeed, the couples that love each other and ending up in marriage are the most blessed couples on earth. So why don’t you the most lucky couples appreciate each other. Every now and then, I see them hurting each other regardless of whether they are deliberate or not. Why don’t you the most lucky ones on earth realize that there are so many people out there on earth who could not be with their loved ones no matter how much they appreciate their loved ones and could tolerate their loved ones for whatsoever. In practice, there are so many people who love their loved ones unconditionally but are still  separated from their loved ones. As such, one will never learn how to appreciate his loved one until one loses his loved one forever. If anyone think that you are grouped in the most lucky category of fate, you should start appreciating your loved ones forever, cherishing every moment that you have spent with them and being thankful to God who particularly blesses you by bringing your loved ones to your life. Truly, to be loved and to be with your loved ones equate to be in an ever ending happiness and forever fulfillment. Please starting appreciating your loved ones and love them unconditionally with passion. Never ever perceiving that unconditional love will trigger “a road to abuse”. That  perception is completely wrong and must be changed and removed permanently and completely.


To appreciate and unconditionally love your loved one are one way of showing to the world how happy and fulfilled as well as fully satisfied you are. I’m among the few who have luckily discovered how big fruit from unconditional love from a few friends of mine is so that I wish to share that valuable knowledge to anyone who wants to reap the big fruit from the unconditional love harvest and THIS VALUABLE DISCOVERY IS TRUE AND APPLIED TO ANYONE REGARDLESS OF THEIR CULTURAL BACKGROUNDS OR THEIR FATES IN THE FATE CONTINUUM AND LONG LASTING TILL THE END OF THE WORLD. Please don’t be stingy when giving away your love to your loved ones. Never ever weigh or measure your love and your dear one’s love to debate who loves more and who loves less. Just remember what I’m going to specially disclose to you that YOUR HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT AS WELL AS SATISFACTION THAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE BRINGS BACK TO YOU WILL BE MEASURED FROM YOUR NADIR OR THE LOWEST POINT IN YOU HEART TO THE ZENITH OF THE WIDE BLUE SKY & THIS IS WHAT I COULD SWEAR FOR FOR SURE AND  FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.


To be frank, if my friend has another chance to choose again, he still chooses his special someone as he still wants to be with that person regardless even though he might be an option from that person‘s point of view. Yet,  from his perspective, that person is always his priority for his whole life as sure as God made little green apples. But at the end of the day, he has NO ALTERNATIVE but to let that person go. Never ever does he regret of letting his special someone as his everything. Honestly, if you invest all your efforts into the relationship, it really frustrates to witness its demise no matter how painfully he did try to salvage his relationship but he must then grieve that loss though he really wants to be with that person for the rest of  his life no matter what. However, of highlighted happiness, what consoles himself after all is that HE HAD PUT ALL HIS EFFORTS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP THROUGHOUT ITS LIFE  – THE BEGINNING, THE MIDDLE AND THE END.

So I bet that you all know by now who will reap the biggest fruit from unconditional love. Please don’t hesitate to act by loving your loved ones unconditionally from now on and never ever SHOULD YOU FEEL UNFAIR OR UNREASONABLE IF YOU ALLOW YOUR LOVED ONES TO BE YOUR PRIORITY.

Speaking of which, Happy Valentine to everyone!

Bye for now 🙂

… Something tells me you’re the one for me.
Something tells me we are meant to be…




Silent Separation (Gu Man)


Silent Separation ~ Gu Man

Have you ever been separated from the one you love for a long time and later having a reunion with them? Then, your love story is somehow similar to the one in Silent Separation written by Gu Man. Subsequently, a television series named My Sunshine which was premiered in 2015 is adapted from this novel. It stars Wallace Chung (He Yi Chen) and Tiffany Tang (Zhao Mo Sheng) in the lead roles.

7 years! Such a long time! … Exactly 7 years … she still knew the way home. ~ Silent Separation

As the fate was shallow, no wonder why the love is not deep. ~ Silent Separation

I have thought about it. If three years later, you are destined to be my girlfriend, I might as well exercise my rights earlier. ~ He Yi Chen

In that case, this person will make him not calm, not rational and not objective. ~ Silent Separation

After so many years, I still lose to you, suffering a crushing defeat. ~ He Yi Chen

Didn’t she already know, although the world is big, there was not a place that didn’t have Yi Chen. ~ Silent Separation

Why won’t you come back? I am prepared to abandon everything, why do you still refuse to come back? ~ He Yi Chen

Even if we were to torment each other for a lifetime, I will also not let you go. ~ He Yi Chen

Admit it, He Yi Chen, you were mad with jealousy. ~ Silent Separation

So unreasonable, the sunlight silently pierced through the heavy haze and shone into his heart. He did not even have time to reject. She was the only ray of sunshine in his gloomy life. ~ Silent Separation

Pain would be the emptiness after waking up in the middle of the night from a dream and knowing she was out of his reach. It would be never seeing her childish smiles again. It would be an unexplained lapse of concentration in whatever he did. ~ Silent Separation

I’ve already said before, so long as He Yi Chen runs into Zhao Mo Sheng, all his principles also can be discounted. ~ Silent Separation

You will understand later, if in this world that person once appeared, other people will just be a compromise… I do not want to compromise. ~ He Yi Chen

You are all welcome to read the English version of Silent Separation in the following blog 🙂

Chapter 1.1: Reunion (translated by peanuts & edited by Lidge)


Chapter 1.2: Reunion (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 2: Turnaround (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 3: Near (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 4.1: Fate (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 4.2: Fate (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 5: Reminiscence (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 6.1: Separation (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 6.2: Reunion (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 7.1: Arm’s Length  (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 7.2: Arm’s Length (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Chapter 8.1: If You Leave (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts)


Chapter 8.2: If You Leave (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts)


Chapter 9.1: Constant Temperature (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts)


Chapter 9.2: Constant Temperature (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts)


Chapter 10.1: No Escape (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts) 


Chapter 10.2: No Escape (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts) 


Chapter 10.3: No Escape (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts)


Chapter 11.1: Ying Hui (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts)


Chapter 11.2: Ying Hui (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts) 


Chapter 12.1: As It Turns Out (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts) 


Chapter 12.2: As It Turns Out (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts)


Chapter 12.3: As It Turns Out (translated by lidge and edited by peanuts) 


Epilogue 1.1: Yi Mei’s Chapter – A Person’s Flower Bloomed (translated by peanuts & edited by lidge)


Epilogue 1.2: Yi Mei’s Chapter – A Person’s Flower Bloomed (translated by peanuts & edited by lidge)


Epilogue 1.3: Yi Mei’s Chapter – A Person’s Flower Bloomed (translated by peanuts & edited by lidge)


Epilogue 2: Bits and pieces (translated by peanuts & edited by lidge)


Epilogue 3.1: Year After Year (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Epilogue 3.2: Year After Year (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)


Epilogue 3.3: Year After Year (translated by peanuts and edited by lidge)




People Of Our Lives & Their According Parts In Our Life Trees


6 years have passed by since the day I wrote the following sharing story, still trying to make it better but I’m out of ideals & inspiration these days. Somehow I feel it’s boring & repetitive in some parts. Hopefully, a better version of it will come out soon but for the time being, this version is all I have 🙂


Ourselves & people of our lives could be described as various parts of our life trees ~ Do Thi Tu Anh

I suppose ourselves & people of our lives could be described as various parts of our life trees.
First of all, people who come easily into & thus go easily out of our lives could be described as leaves. They may be the persons whom we know through friends and who never stay in our memory for any particular reasons. They never stick around us for too long on our branches and being easily blown away by the life wind. They obviously take no place in our heart and bear no memory in our brain. Yes, they are faceless and easily forgettable.
On the other hand, people with whom we have acquainted for reasons and thus sticking around us over a period of time could be depicted as branches. Some of them may remain around us until we die but sadly some of them may leave us due to some particular reasons. Obviously, our friends are branches which could be broken out of our trees under hard pressure. And our best friends are large branches of our trees which make up the large parts of our life trees.

Additionally, people whom we love dearly and thus they are our nearest and dearest ones are mostly our spouses and our family members or possibly the one we love most. Undeniably, they have been, more often than not, with us through all goods and bads of the life cycles. Obviously, they are the ones who love us most and never ever do they want to let go unless they must. Thus, they are the main part of our trees which is granted the title “trunk“. Clearly, they forever remain in our memories and stay in our hearts for good and never ever could any forces take them out of our memories and our hearts. And if we ever want to take them out of our life trees, we must do it at the cost of causing scarred to our trees as they have inscribed their names in our souls, engraved their faces in our brains and cast their parts in our hearts and thus they have presented in our lives with deep memories. Yes, a permanent scar that has no cure afterwards and that chronically hurts us in eternity. Accepting or not, the trunk is the main body of our trees and thus any damage to the relationships between us and these people will definitely have a negative effect on the trees’ health and thus on our lives. Therefore, all we should do is to cherish the relationships with them and to treasure every moment we have spent with them.

Furthermore, our kids are the flowers and the fruits of our life trees. Fundamentally, they are the ones that reflect us most and the ones whom we love until death and we could never trade them for anything or anyone. Since our kids are the fruits and the flowers of our life trees, therefore, if we wish to bear good fruits and beautiful flowers, all we must do is to train ourselves in good disciplines with good principles. As long as we have beautiful minds, warm hearts and kind souls, we would be sure that our kids are more likely to be good fruits and beautiful flowers whose souls, hearts and minds are the mirror of our images.

Last but not least, the tree roots & who is able to take that position in our life trees?
Obviously, who is capable of “capturing” that position except ourselves. We are the roots of our life trees as without us, how could our life trees function? Such that if we want our life trees to perform well and to be healthy, all we need is to built our lives with virtue, ethics and good principles. Fundamentally, good roots will produce healthy trees and therefore core principles with virtue and ethics will form damn right individuals. Never ever too late to nourish our roots so that if any of you have yet to be endowed with good and healthy roots, it’s about time for you to feed your roots with “nutrition and good food” for your souls, your hearts and your minds from virtue, ethics and good principles and trying to stay yourselves away from bad or inappropriate standards (by fake heroes). In a nutshell, never should you ever overlook your root systems as they are the basis for creating the real you and the adding fact is that any damage to our root system will have a far-reaching adverse effect on our life trees for sure.

A tree is a dynamic living organism and so are we. The tree need to constantly feed its roots with good food to stay alive in an healthy manner and also we need to feed ourselves with “nutrition” to stay ethically and beautifully. Obviously, the process of “feeding ourselves” is a trial-and-error one but we must bear in our minds that life is a school and the only way to sharpen our ability is through friction with life through which we should definitely learn our lessons and know how to train ourselves better.


In summary, all the various parts and functions of a life tree are interdependent and understanding these parts and their according functions is important to prevent unnecessary damage to our life trees. As such, the more we understand our people and ourselves, the better we are. Therefore, knowing where we stand, what ourselves desire to pursuit and having knowledge of how we can get where we want to get plus staying persistently with our life goals are some of the keys for successful, fulfilled, respectful and worthy individuals. Clearly, ourselves and our people function together as a balanced system in a vigorously healthy tree. Surely, any damage to any tree parts will upset this balance and cause a net reduction in overall tree health and thus ourselves .



People Of Our Livesgrowing-tree

Homage to Lee Alexander McQueen


Homage To Lee Alexander McQueen

Homage to Lee Alexander McQueenLet’s talk about Alexander McQueen, shall we?
I understand that there are many praises for McQueen‘s fashion talent from people around the globe thus far so that it is redundant for me to write such praises in this short discussion .
A lot of comments I’ve read so far about the The Horn Of Plenty dress/gown featuring in the above picture give me an impression that it is the perfect creation in the fashion point of view about the style, colour, design … Yeah, I agree that this is a very beautiful dress and that it is one of my most favorite McQueen dresses by far is the matter of the fact. If someone, however, asked me that which my number one dress/gown in the haute couture fashion is, I would say without thinking even for a second that Elie Saab dress/gown worn by Halle Berry at the 2002 Academy Awards is my choice (The gown is also featured in the picture below). This decision is, by no means, to defame or undermine McQueen’s real fashion talent or passion or such. I simply mean that my choice is different from the majority of people’s one & that I am not a “herd follower”, that’s that, no offence intended toward McQueen and his fashion talent for whatsoever reason.
In addition, I think that many McQueen’s designs are impractical for daily wear especially shoes. Yeah, I agree, they are different or distinguishable as what people said (I would say weird to be exact), but they are perfect for fashion shows or fashion exhibitions rather than for daily fashion. Undoubtedly, I guess most of you will not dare to agree with what I say & even respond that “who the hell you are to dare to say these kinds of words, even popular designers/commentators in the fashion industry do not dare to say them let alone you”. Well, like I said, I am not a herb follower & I am a very straightforward person, I have never been afraid of saying what I am thinking. If they are bizarre, I will say as such, simple as that. Not sure what McQueen would be thinking if he was still alive? But in my humble opinion, a good designer and to a larger extent a considerate person, should always appreciate feedback both good and bad for better future creation/designs. Just my own thought & you might disagree with this, undeniably.
But for the most part, I have always agreed without any hesitation and doubt that McQueen is one of the most influential designers in the fashion industry.



Decor horoscopes: What’s your decor personality?


Decor horoscopes: What’s your decor personality?

By Marie-Christine Tremblay

A Taurus like to cocoon, Rams have a passion for the avant-garde and Geminis welcome change. Does your zodiac sign influence your interior decorating style?

AriesAriesAries is dynamic and determined. However, a lack of organization and perseverance can sometimes hamper her sense of exuberance and entrepreneurship. If she is the first to volunteer on a project, she may also be the first to lose interest as it progresses. Therefore Aries needs a simple, well-organized space that reflects her vitality. Her bold personality latches on to trends and gravitates toward a minimalist style. She also loves implementing new ideas. Whether it be a state-of-the-art kitchen, a Zen living room or a lively bedroom, Aries will express herself primarily through a fiery  palette, such as red , orange and a sunny yellow.  

TaurusTaurusCheerful and sensual, Taurus appreciates simple interiors based primarily on comfort and luxury. Sometimes her conservative nature makes her a little resistant to change, but her home reflects a fondness for beautiful things. Antiques, fresh flowers and soft, fluffy fabrics suit her perfectly. A collector at heart with a knack for cooking slow food, Taurus has everything she could possibly need to cook and entertain in the kitchen. Her living room is the perfect place to relax. Good-quality furniture is often paired with a piano or a top-notch sound system – Taurus loves her music. Greens, earth tones, and deep pinks suit her disposition.

GeminiGeminiGemini’s are just as comfortable in a tent as they would be in a luxurious hotel room and their homes reflect that adaptability. Lively and sociable, living room furniture is carefully laid out for ease of conversation and accessories are carefully selected to encourage discussion. True to the duality of her sign, Gemini’s items are often displayed in pairs. Fascinated by new trends, she liks to be the first to get her hands on a new look. Gemini is drawn to a modern style with simple lines and metallic finishes. Even though yellow is her colour of choice, Gemini also enjoys brilliant shades of blue and green – provided they are vibrant.

CancerCancerCancer’s strong, protective instinct leads to interiors that exude the warmth and comfort of home. Cancer loves to bring life into a room and has a keen sense of how to create the perfect ambiance. Cancer is drawn to cool colours – white, periwinkle and anything with a pearly or silvery tone. However, because of the importance she places on family, including neighbours and friends, her home always feels warm and inviting. Comfy chairs, sumptuous cushions and an inviting kitchen are all a must to accommodate all the people in her life. Cancer also likes to surround herself with sentimental objects. A photo gallery in the front entrance or a hallway will make her happy.

LeoLeoLeo is proud of the beautiful home she has designed. She loves elegant decor, theatrical furniture, exotic accessories, ornamental lighting and mirrors. Leo also likes to entertain. Her kitchen is usually equipped with an island or a large table so that guests can visit while she cooks. A drink can be procured at any given moment – the bar is always well-stocked. On the other hand, Leo spends a lot of time in the multi-functional bedroom she has created. Her favourite colours include orange, red, yellow and purple. 

VirgoVirgoMeticulous and organized, Virgo cannot stand clutter and pays special attention to detail. She needs lots of storage space so that her home is always neat and tidy. Virgo has a penchant for vintage furniture, especially light-coloured wood and glass. Her decor is arranged in a way that facilitates easy conversation and you could eat off her floors! Furniture stands out and contrasts nicely against walls that are painted blue, yellowy-green, taupe or cream. Guided by an attention to detail, Virgo favours the practicality of her furnishings; she’s always ready for company. Freshly ironed placemats and snacks await guests in her simple, well-organized kitchen. 

LibraLibraEverything in Libra’s home is well-balanced and harmonious. She gravitates toward a more traditional style with pairs of lamps, mirrors, paintings and vases arranged symmetrically. Her natural elegance and aesthetic leads her to seek out quality pieces and she will not hesitate to spend a bit more for a well-designed object. Libra prefers airy, open spaces. Blues and opal tone help to create that fresh space that she needs. It might take her a while to decide on a wall colour, but in the end, what she creates will look artistic and harmonious.

ScorpioScorpioScorpio’s need for privacy will lead her to create a refuge from the outside world. She is passionate about design and loves dramatic decor with a bit of mystery. Carefully chosen accessories are the key to achieving the right look. Naturally artistic, Scorpio can take a piece of furniture from a junk sale and turn it into something spectacular. Red, orange, burgundy and black are her colours of choice, which are ideal when creating a more theatrical design. Sumptuous, textural fabrics, like velvet, brocade, silk and leather add a hint of exoticism to the living room – a room that feels more like a boudoir where deep, dark secrets are well-guarded. The bathroom is all marble and mirrors.

SagittariusSagittariusSagittarian interiors reflect a passion for travel and hospitality. Sagittarius likes to spend time with family and friends. Her optimism and cheerfulness greet guests and even if she lives alone, she’ll choose the right furniture for entertaining. Sagittarius doesn’t need anything too fancy. Knick-knacks gathered from her travels are scattered in every room of the house and reflect an eclectic style. Purple, turquoise and royal blue provide the perfect backdrop for her adventurous spirit. A few photos, comfy cushions and board games make her feel right at home. Sagittarius loves to recreate exotic dishes when entertaining.

CapricornCapricornResponsible and disciplined, Capricorn has a down-to-earth style. Her home revolves around a collection of solid furniture, wood and leather heirlooms, and a few accents that evoke comfort, like piles of cushions and Oriental carpets. She needs a little corner for her office, as well as a place to display her awards since she’s proud of her achievements. The kitchen needs to be efficient. Capricorn likes to plan her meals ahead of time and often everything is prepared the night before. Her favourite colours include dark earth tones, slate gray and forest green.

AquariusAquariusIndependent and unconventional, Aquarius loves cutting edge design and surrounds herself with ultra-modern style and the latest high-tech equipment. Gadgets abound, whether you’re in the living room, the kitchen  or the bedroom. Aquarius needs lots of space to recharge her batteries. Her decor is often monochromatic in shades of violet or electric blue and she loves metal furniture and accessories. A creative soul, Aquarius likes to renovate and because she likes to help others, she’ll often volunteer her talents to a friend in need.

PiscesPiscesImaginative, intuitive and sensitive, Pisces is a chameleon who isn’t afraid to mix up different styles. She needs space to meditate and express her creativity. Watery hues like blue and green serve as a backdrop for her dreamy space that opens to the outdoors. Pisces hate feeling trapped in a space, so they need a lot of big windows that let the light in. Always surrounded by pretty things, Pisces instinctively knows where each piece should be displayed. Works of art fulfill her artistic side.

Astrology – All About Pisces




Feb 22 – March 21

Please note – the date will be varied slightly among the sources

He’ll play pliant on the surface because it’s easier;it’s not that important to draw blood.

From the book “Astrology for Lovers” written by Liz Green.

PISCESThe range from Einstein to the ranks of junkies queuing at midnight in Piccadilly Circus for their weekly methadone is a pretty broad range.  So is the range from the Fish, that for two thousand years has symbolized the mystery of Christ, to the sad, scruffy, ineffectual figure which Vivian Robson once described in an astrology text as ‘the dustbin of the zodiac’.  But this bizarre combination of paradoxical things is typical of Pisces.

In an attempt to understand the real motivations of the Piscean (a thing which is impossible right from the outset, but which one must, irresistibly, try anyway), I once asked a Pisces friend what he thought about it.

‘Well,’ he replied with a perfectly straight face, ‘it’s a well-known fact that every Pisces secretly longs to be given the fishing rights to all the dustbins in Oxford Street.’

And there you have it.  Take the dustbin literally or symbolically as you please.  What the rest of humanity discards, ignores or cannot comprehend, Pisces pursues.  In the midst of the waste and wreckage of human dreams and the heights of disappointed fantasies, he will fish….and fish….and fish.

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, who in ancient mythology is represented as the god of the oceans and the underground waterways of the earth.  Dripping with seaweed, brandishing his trident, he is unpredictable in behaviour:  sometimes friendly to sailors, offering them smooth seas and a calm wind, other times strangely inimical, raising destructive storms and calling monsters out of the depths.  The figure of Neptune tells us something about Pisces right away.  This sign is connected with a realm that has no boundaries, no measurable depths.  ‘From water all life comes,’ the Koran tells us.  And nothing less than the source of life itself is the real secret for which Pisces fishes.  No wonder, if he fails, that he reverts to the disillusioned, deluded escapist.

It is sometimes said that Pisces, the last sign of the zodiac, contains a little bit of all of the others.  And watching a typical Piscean, this certainly seems to be true.  No one is as much as a chameleon as Pisces, a natural actor.  The theatre and the film industry are full of fishes, playing their parts.  There is a marvelous fluidity and complexity in Pisces people which can be alternatively enchanting and irritating, for they are so many people that you begin to wonder when the real Pisces will stand up.  The secret is that there is no ‘real’ Piscean.  He actually is everybody.  And if you think it’s easy to live with that kind of empathy and identification with the human race, think again.

It is also said that Pisces incarnates either to serve or to suffer.  This, too, seems to be true in its fashion, although it is a little extreme.  But the tendency Pisceans to become the people with whom they are strongly involved causes many of them to be subsumed.  Sometimes texts refer to Pisces as ‘wishy-washy’, because there is a passivity, a kind of inertia in these people that shows most clearly when a crisis is upon them.  Watch a Pisces in a dilemma that calls for quick decision and action.  You’ll go grey waiting for that positive move.  Decisions, if it is to be quick, means you have to exclude one choice for another.  To Pisces, the problem is that so many choices are available, and if you look at all of them carefully, why, they all contain some truth.  How do you choose when every choice is a right – and a wrong – one?

This is one of the keys to Pisces’ often enigmatic behaviour:  everything is relative.  Like all the other zodiacal traits we have explored, this one is double-edged.  Seeing the relativity of truth is a great gift, because it breeds tolerance.  If men throughout history have possessed a few more truly Piscean traits, there would have been no Spanish Inquisition, no Nazi holocaust, no Salem witchhunts, no bigotry and persecution.  If everything is relative, then you can’t condemn others for their viewpoints.  The problem with this attitude is that it can be incredibly lax.  Pisces has sometimes been accused of immorality.  But that isn’t strictly true; to be immoral, you have to have morals to break.  And the calm wise indifference with which Pisces greets human transgressions not only applies to his own.  He will sit quietly while his wife leaves, his children insult him, his employer heaps abuse upon his head, the taxman takes half his income, and his landlord throws him out of his flat.  It can drive you to frenzy – watching the complete blank acceptance – as though they were born to it, expect it, welcome it.  And maybe they know something the other signs don’t – that all this suffering, all this misfortune, means little if you’re not attached too strongly to life.

Pisces is the sign of the mystic.  And this mystical streak means several things.  For one thing, many Pisceans are deeply religious – although not necessarily in an orthodox way.  But they have a longing for, and a sense of, some other reality, something transcendant, magical, elusive, that makes ordinary life seem drab and meaningless.  Truly a vale of tears.  For another thing, Pisces has a deep wisdom about the futility of so many human desires.  Intense ambition, powerful passion, covetousness, greed – the ordinary human motives that drive us all – pass through him and pass out again, for none of them have that much power over him.  He is as capable of these emotions as any other sign.  But somehow, somewhere deep down, he doesn’t really take them all that seriously.  After all, it’s only maya, as they say in the East – only illusion.

Pisceans seem to have this strange and cynical wisdom, about life and people, even from childhood.  Pisces belongs to the element of water, and, like Cancer and Scorpio, is deeply sensitive to the secret undercurrents that lie behind the mask of ordinary human behaviour.  It’s hard to fool a Pisces.  But the difference between the Fish and his two watery fellows is that Cancer and Scorpio, being more strongly attached to their own emotions, will act on their reactions.  Cancer, sensing that someone is a little untrustworthy, will move to protect himself and his loved ones.  Scorpio, sensing the same thing, will usually attack the enemy, to teach him a lesson, or withdraw in strong disgust.  Pisces will look, see, feel saddened, and forgive.  And will generally let himself be taken advantage of or cheated despite his insight.  Why?  Well, I’ve asked Pisces people that, when they’ve got into the classic Pisces bind of being the sucker.  ‘It doesn’t really matter that much,’ they say.  Or, ‘Well, he needed it more than I do.’  Or some other remark which reminds you once again that this world is not the real one for the Fish.  He hears a different drumbeat.

The Fish is a creature which lives underwater.  And Pisces does too.  He moves in the depths of a world which is difficult to fathom if you are an airy, earthy, rational type.  Everything is seen double, or in quadruplicate, nothing is ever simple or clear.  Every thought and action has thousands of associations which ripple out into infinity.  Pisces does not understand boundaries.  He will frequently eat until he makes himself sick, or drink until he collapses, or get so loud and extroverted that he offends everybody, or go so quiet and withdrawn that he terrifies everyone. Everything to excess.  It’s because he doesn’t really understand how to discriminate, how to limit, how to choose.  If you have ever kept a tank of tropical fish, you will know that you cannot  just leave a week’s worth of food and go away on holiday.  A fish will simply eat and eat what’s in front of him until he kills himself.  There’s no sense of moderation in Pisces.  How could there be?  He’s a creature from another world, unsure of and unused to the laws by which the clear, cold world of matter and facts operates.

What he has to compensate for this rather disturbing failing is a boundless imagination.  For here too, the Pisces has no limits.  He can envision anything.  Einstein was a Pisces, and a good example of where a brilliant intellect can go when it is not hidebound by conventions and dogmas.  Many great musicians and painters have been Pisceans; their imagination know no bounds.  Anything is possible.  Pisces holds the secret to the source of life, the realm of dreams and fantasies.  Psychology calls this the unconscious.  Pisces has a key to this world – one given him at birth, as a gift.  He can come and go as he pleases.  The trouble is, he often finds it difficult to come back.

Pisces has a real problem coping with reality.  That is, with the one bound by time and space and structure and facts.  Although his intuition may be lightning-quick, and his intellect brilliant, he will often overlook something simple, like the electricity bill.  Pisces has a bad reputation with money.  It’s not that he is ‘impractical’ in the ordinary sense.  He may even display bouts of meanness, and have some pretty shrewd, canny ideas about how money might be made.  It’s more that he can’t – and won’t – bear limitations.  The whole concept of being limited by time, space, and other people is intensely irritating to Pisces.  His mind is on larger things.

This can be infuriating to more earthy types, or airy types who like everything planned, structured, and explained.  Although Pisces, as a water sign, often finds himself in relationships with the air signs, they see reality in very different ways.  For Pisces, these things are not important.  He would rather decide on the spur of the moment to take a quick plane to Tahiti, or to suddenly buy a Porsche, than he would plan six months in advance a package Thompson holiday and a good, sensible Mini which uses less petrol and a smaller insurance premium.  All this has led to Pisces being called childishly irresponsible.  This is rather unfair.  He’s responsible enough with the things he cares about.  It’s just that his conception of what’s real may differ from that of other people’s.  Quite radically.

Pisces is also an incurable romantic.  He may have many defences to hide this innate tendency, but romantic he was born and romantic he will die.  And romance doesn’t just mean about love affairs.  It means about everything.  The house he lives in must be a castle, with moat and drawbridge; the car must be exotic, the bed revolving with platforms and coloured lights….well, you get the idea.  He lives in his imagination.  In his imagination, everything is not only like a set piece out of Star Wars, but it also changes constantly.  Pisces gets bored more easily than any other sign.  The constantly changing landscape of the depths is not easily replaced by the unchanging banality of life on dry land.  Pisces needs a little theatre in his life.  If you can’t provide it, he’ll create it.  Often to his own destruction.  But that too has a dramatic ring.

If you like safe, solid people who always mean what they say and also mean it next week and the week after, stay away from Pisces.  The only thing which is truly consistent about him is his love for, and longing for, change.  That and the closeness he has to the world of dreams, which is far more important to him than the ‘realities’ of the welfare state where food, shelter and free medical care plus a visit to the local every two nights means happiness.  Not for Pisces.  Give him hyacinths for the soul anytime.  He is remarkably adaptable, and can manage in a garret; but garrets are romantic.  Council estates aren’t.

The Pisces Lover

PISCESS1You might expect that all the qualities we have mentioned about Pisces would be in abundant display in his love-life, for Pisces is usually in love.  If not with a human being, then with a cause, or with God, but he is usually in love.  It is in his nature to give, and since this is a water sign, a sign of feeling, it is impossible for Pisces to conceive of a life alone – unless it is a kind of aloneness which the monk or the nun elects in exchange for union of a different kind.

You may see the sensitivity, the gentleness, the tendency to devotedness in abundance.  You may also see the overcompensation of many Pisceans to their own need for people, exhibited in coolness and a deliberately forced detachment.  You may see the Piscean tendency always to put the other person’s wishes first, and to blossom under any show of affection or tenderness.  Or you may see the shadow side take over, where the partner must always be in the position of the servant catering to the lord’s whims.  Either way, the root is the same.  If Pisces can trust, he will give everything.  Not necessarily tomorrow, or next year.  Fidelity and structure are not part of his nature.  But today, now, in this moment.  And if you string together a long string of moments, you may discover that it’s been a lifetime.

One of the more disturbing qualities about Pisces is that he is so ready to enter into a relationship with just about anybody on a certain superficial level that people misunderstand his motives.  He’s not really coming on; he’s listening with sympathy.  He’s also easily seduced, not necessarily only literally.  You can’t cage Pisces; his extroverted side flows out easily to other people that you may as well get used to it.  But this is, remember, a wise soul.  He sees through people very quickly.  And although he’s led often one way or the next out of sympathy or flattery or a stronger personality, he has the capacity to recognize what’s really of value to him.

This is not likely to be a lover who only notices one man, or one woman.  That’s impossible for Pisces; he’s not only interested in everybody, he’s often attracted to everybody.  His morals are his own; better find out what they are first, so you aren’t surprised later.  Don’t take him for granted.  But the curious detachment in this sign is in evidence even in this highly fraught situations, when he says it meant nothing, and it would be better if it meant nothing to you too.  If you’re the really possessive type, you’re in a little trouble.  He may be technically faithful; his imagination certainly isn’t, and never will be.  Not likely that he’ll be either.  But it depends upon whether you value technical fidelity, or a depth of understanding and tacit communion which no other sign can offer.

There is also a quality in Pisces, like Virgo – the opposite sign – which is essentially untouched and unpossessable, no matter how formal the contact is, no matter how long you’ve known him.  Some part of Pisces will always belong to the cosmos, to his own inner self, and not to you.  Unlike the simpler signs such as Aries or Taurus, Pisces is simply not capable of saying, ‘Here I am, a simple soul at heart.  I’m yours.’  He may give you forty-five of the sixty-eight selves he’s discovered that week.  Don’t expect all of them.  There will be dreams, visions, that he can never communicate.  If you keep asking a Pisces what he’s thinking about every time he gets that vague, dreamy look in his eye, you’ll drive him and yourself crazy, and never get any satisfactory answers.  The real truth is that he probably doesn’t know; he just went off, and if left alone, will undoubtedly come back again.  Many of Pisces’ ways of communicating are nonverbal; it’s not a sign that excels in debate and defence.  Many Pisceans are completely inept at explaining themselves or their feelings.  They rely on touch, atmosphere, a subtle communion that is almost telepathic.  Try to force them into rigid explanations and definitions and it’s like holding a handful of water; it slides through your fingers and it’s gone.

Evasiveness is a word often used to describe Pisces. Deceptiveness is as well.  But it isn’t the calculated statesmanship of the Capricorn, or the deliberate secretiveness of the Scorpio, or the mental gymnastics of the Gemini.  When you see thirty different things, how can you explain one?  Especially when the chances are that the other person can’t even comprehend what it’s like to see thirty?  And ambivalent emotion – well, that’s equally difficult.  How to explain when you love and hate someone, when they’re ugly and beautiful, when everything shifts and changes, and takes new shape faster than you can say chameleon?  For all these reasons and more, Pisces is an elusive partner.  You take the feelings as they come, and let them go as they go.  Attempting to define and freeze them into structures is a futile exercise.  Many people are badly hurt by Pisces, not because the sign is cold and unfeeling, but because the other person expects a conventional linear expression of love, like ‘I love you, I always will, and that’s it’, when a phrase like that is downright ridiculous to the Piscean who knows that love is a very varied state, that it has many meanings all of which change all the time, that everything is relative, that you can’t plan the future, etc. etc.

But if you know enough of the world and yourself to allow for motion rather than stasis, basking in the flow of a Pisceans’ feelings can be the most healing and regenerative relationship you’ll ever have.  The trick, perhaps, is not to ever trample on his dreams, nor ever think you understand him completely.  Just when you do, he’ll change on you.  If you dislike change, pick a Taurus or a Leo.  But if you like unexplored regions, and unclimbed mountains, and futures that are shrouded in mist and beckon, and magic castles and unexplored treasures, then don’t fear Pisces.  Only don’t think you’ve got only one person.  You’ve got everybody.  A cast of thousands.  What better way is there to learn about life?

PISCESS2The Pisces Man

You may have observed that Pisces is a strongly feminine sign.  Feminine, that is, in terms of its feeling bias, its imagination, its softness, its compassion.  Many Pisces men are extremely masculine, and perfectly capable of what Jung calls, ‘Knowing what you want and doing what you have to do to get it’.  But all in all, the combination of being a man and being a Pisces is a slightly uneasy one.  Largely, once again, because of collective pressures and social expectations.

There are a great many turntypes among Pisces men.  They compensate in a thousand ways for being Pisceans.  Some of them run in terror from the depths of their underwater visions, into an extreme and brittle kind of rationality which calls for statistics, definitions and proofs.  They are the dogmatic material scientists, attempting to stamp out in others what they fear in themselves.  They have no tolerance for what they call ’emotionality’, and cannot abide moodiness in others because their own threatens to overwhelm them.

But if a Pisces man has the courage to face his own vulnerability, and to see that it can live happily side by side with his manhood, then you have a rare creature.  And he’s able to maintain his manhood without disappearing underwater into the realm of escape, that is.  This is the hero of so many books and films, the antihero, the gentle fighter, the sensitive lover.  It’s perhaps closer to our modern myth of man than any other, since it’s a peculiar marriage of male and female.  The Pisces man who has accomplished this has a rare charisma, a drama about him that makes him endlessly fascinating both to men and women alike.

Sadly, many more Pisces men hit the extremes.  We’ve mentioned the rationalist, the Pisces who hates being a Pisces and wants desperately to protect his own sensitivity.  The opposite kind is also common enough.  He’s the fellow who loves strong women, especially women who can support him financially; who can take care of him while he’s writing the eternal half-finished novel, while he’s contemplating the job he’ll never take.  He’s the passive victim, abused and betrayed by a cold, brutal wife, looking for pity and sympathy and playing for all its worth to the maternal instinct of some poor foolish woman who thinks all his romanticism is true tenderness and feeling.  These are pathetic Pisceans and their wives and lovers are frustrated women who have to be men most of the time and chafe violently against it.  Many Piscean men of this type gravitate toward the powerful signs in women:  Leo, Aries, Scorpio, Capricorn.  They have no strength of their own, and seek it in a partnership.

As you might guess, Pisces tends to run to extremes.  It’s rare that you get a neutral Pisces.  It’s generally one extreme or the other.

The Pisces man generally needs to feel ‘understood’ more than anything else.  This isn’t so much a sign of physical passion as it is a sensuous sign, a sybaritic sign.  Dragging the woman off by the hair to the cave isn’t generally Pisces’ style.  Allowing himself to strike up a warm, sympathetic conversation and then allowing himself to be seduced by good wine, soft music, satin sheets and erotic underwear is much more his style.  Pisces is as happy being passive as a lover as he is being, literally or figuratively, the one on top.  It’s his particular brand of masculinity.  Often he will make himself the buffoon, the clown, the victim, for he works a lot from sympathy and empathy.  Women love to protect him.  He can protect himself perfectly well.  But it isn’t always in his interests to let you know that.

Trust him and you’ll bring the best out of him.  See only the shadowy side of him and he’ll have a devil of a time trusting himself.  He never trusts himself anyway; he’s brutally realistic, beneath all those visions.  He needs the trust and loyalty of another person to bring out his own – the realistic trust, that is.  Accuse him of something, and he’ll happily go out and do it, just to please.  His way of fighting is not to fight; it’s to bend so far backwards that you fall on your face.  Impotence is also his way of fighting.  In this, you’ll see the feminine side of the sign in strong colours.  Passive resistance is a technique dear to the Piscean heart.

You might think he can easily be dominated.  Think again.  In fact his world doesn’t include dominant or submissive.  He’ll play pliant on the surface because it’s easier, because it’s not that often important enough to draw blood.  Beneath that pliant surface, it isn’t that he needs to control; he just wants to be left alone.  Try to dominate, and you’ll discover you’re empty-handed.  He’s simply drifted away, without a fuss.

If you are the type who likes to have all your decisions made for you, don’t choose a Pisces.  On the other hand, if you want someone to henpeck, pass on this one too.  Now you see him, now you don’t.  No promise or marriage contract means anything to him if the fundamental values of the relationship have been abused.  And he’ll see through all the games pretty quickly.  He just won’t be there the next morning.  No note, no phone call.  Just gone.  Like the fish.

But if you want a relationship which is more nearly like the ideal vision of what the so-called ‘liberated’ woman seeks (and these are rare animals as well), you will find that Pisces is not one of your diehard male chauvinists.  Being strongly emotional himself, he usually has immense empathy for women.  He generally gets on with them better than men.  And with his profound understanding of human nature, you’re not likely either to be the housekeeper or the sex object.  You get to be a person.  And that’s worth quite a lot.

The Pisces Woman

Many paeans have been written to the Pisces woman, for her mystery, her gentleness, her compassion, her elusive charm, her pregnant silences.  And she may be, indeed, the archetypal feminine.  The lovely, gracious princess of the fairy-tale castle, waiting for the suitor to rescue her and cherish and protect her, is modeled on Pisces.  The Pisces woman has a unique ability to make a man feel terribly masculine, because she seems so often to need protecting, cherishing, and tenderness.  Because she has such a changeable range and depth of feeling, she often gives the impression of being slightly unformed.  It brings out the Pygmalion tendencies in any would-be artisans.  Many men think they can shape her into what they choose.  In part, it’s true.  The qualities of devotion and gentleness and softness are in abundance in many Piscean women.  But blank slate she’s not.

Like the Pisces man, she’s unfathomable, and possesses a soul which no one can ultimately reach.  Although eager to please and rarely argumentative, she also has the gift of defence through submergence.  Now you see her, now you don’t.  She may physically disappear, usually with a lover; but more likely she’ll be physically present and simply psychologically disappear, gone to the underwater realms or to someone else in fantasy.  It’s a very peculiar feeling when she’s gone.  No one home.

Romanticism runs very high in the Pisces woman.  She expects, and needs the poetry and tenderness and style that any fairy-tale princess merits.  Starve her of these and you will drive her either to another lover or into herself, where she may transform into the martyr.  Provide them, and your princess becomes a queen.  Simple.  Yet astonishingly difficult for many men, since Pisces, as a watery sign, seems to attract airy types who believe they can impress her with their sparkling intellects and long for the exhibitions of feeling she herself provides without realizing they must give in exchange.

And make no mistake, the Pisces woman, if she is disappointed, will not hesitate to deceive.  Remember Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton?  Being good to her isn’t enough.  You must enter her dreams with her.  Ignore them, patronize them, and you do so at your own risk.  There is a strong theatrical element in the Pisces woman.  She has a unique gift for getting herself into the most dreadful dilemmas and crisis which no one could possibly sort out, and then going about among her friends asking for advice which is never taken since her need to suffer and sacrifice is fed by the dilemma.  A perplexing creature.

But meet her in later life, and all the compassion and wisdom which come from having seen the seamy side of just about everything yield a glow and a richness which is far more meaningful than the unshaped marble which Pygmalion sees in her late teens and early twenties.  In this, the last of the signs, the Wise Woman emerges – with all the instinctual wisdom of her sex and all the human insights of her sign.  Often she is almost mediumistic, preferring to shelter herself from life because this gift is so dubious and so difficult to bear.  There is also more than a touch of the witch in Pisces; whether it is white or black depends on whether she has been badly bruised, and how badly.  A Pisces woman gone wrong is a vampire, playing on the fantasy life of others, and draining their strength.  Never underestimate her, because she may be inarticulate or reluctant to explain herself.  Neptune is an enigmatic god; to love him is to love the ocean, for all its moods and changes, its anger and its peacefulness, its destruction and its beauty.